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Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Merry Christmas

Truly He taught us to love one another;
















His law is love and His Gospel is peace.

Friday, December 23, 2011

I hear babies cry...
I watch them grow...
They'll learn much more...than I'll ever know.

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Dear October

This is my favorite time of the year.



This time, last year, that beautiful little girl was so small, and it was just us two.



Then, this incredible baby boy came along and now together, we are a family of three.



Oh what an adventure this year was...

























It was the year of my Saturn Return and the theme has been love.



Some years are changing years, this has been a changing year. Wherein, through God, through Love, I have found a greater peace than I have ever known.


Life humbled me and humbled me some more until I resigned my pride to reside in humility. To throw caution to the wind, surrender control and exist on Faith. It was an all-encompassing process, to disintegrate my false self entirely... And then: as I re-inherited parts of myself that had been buried under those untruths, I started regaining consciousness.

"this too shall pass"

I felt in my heart that I was on a journey, headed out of some shadows, toward something greater. So, I put my complete trust in God, I gave all my love to God.

"You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.' This is the great and foremost commandment. The second is like it, 'You shall love your neighbor as yourself.'"

Love, God sustains me through what is the joyful, painful and perplexing work of figuring out what loving my neighbor and myself should be.

It's in this place of honesty, trust, and most of all love, that I am finding a deep, gratifying, divine happiness. I am finding my self. And now, like the butterfly in Goethe's words, I'm insane for the light, driven by my desire for higher love-making.

"And so long as you haven't experienced this: to die and so to grow, you are only a troubled guest on the dark earth." - Goethe



Year 27 changed me.

A pastor who I admire shared her thoughts on the following scriptures with me... She echoes my prayer for myself.

"I invite the Holy Spirit to develop these characteristics in me so that I can show the love of God in the same manner God loves me!"

Galations 5
22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.

1 Corinthians 13:4-7
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Here we go, 28!

eMn

Friday, August 5, 2011

My Baby Boy, 9 months of Joy


9 months ago,
at 9 am, 
I held my 9 pound, 
19" baby boy after 
9 months of carrying him. 

Dear Niles, Your jovial disposition, cheerful countenance and loving spirit has changed our world. 

 

Friday, July 15, 2011

The Pleasing Rewards of a Job well-done

It's been said that going into a divorce that you've not prepared yourself for is like knowing you're going to get in a car accident and not being able to put on a seatbelt.  I felt that way, around this time, last year.  All of the Financial responsibility fell on my husband in our marriage and in the end, that was really scary. I was hugely pregnant, at home alone with a 1 year old, stubbornly clinging to the expectation that at some point, he would man up and be the head of household that I expected he would naturally want to be.  I had painted myself into a corner, that without him, I couldn't get out of. But I had to. And that's how self-sufficiency got on my list this year.  I wanted to loosen my dependencies and strengthen myself.


As I started to lead my own life, I discovered that taking back the tasks that I'd been turning over to other people was saving me time and bringing me joy. This description, from the book How to Sew a Button's home page says it just right: "Nowadays, many of us “outsource” basic tasks. Food is instant, ready-made, and processed with unhealthy additives. Dry cleaners press shirts, delivery guys bring pizza, gardeners tend flowers, and, yes, tailors sew on those pesky buttons. But life can be much simpler, sweeter, and richer—and a lot more fun, too! As your grandmother might say, now is not the time to be careless with your money, and it actually pays to learn how to do things yourself!"

I love the feeling of doing something that I never even thought about doing for myself.  I cherish the hard earned confidence that no matter what, I can make it work.
Self-sufficiency is a mindset.
 

With faith, determination and hard work, you can do anything.  I believe that. I learned that by doing things I'd never done before: renting my own u-haul, packing and unpacking myself, cooking at home all of the time, walking places, fixing my car, assembling stuff!  If you want to feel better about yourself quickly, try doing something hard.
                             
but also:
Thank goodness for the support of family, unexpected kindness from strangers and the grace of God.  

Deuteronomy 8:2-3


Thursday, July 7, 2011

Easiest Curls Ever!


I found this tutorial via ohsohappytogether! & tried it last night.  It is the easiest, healthiest busy-mom hairstyle ever.



Monday, April 25, 2011

Garage Sale Success!



I might even do it again next year, it was hard work but so fun and a great way to meet neighbors and oddballs. :)

My advice:
Put price tags on everything, even if you don't really mean it.  It opens the dialogue!
Set it all out the night before and stage it so that there is some visual appeal.
Find a partner. 2+ adults are required

Saturday, April 23, 2011

Burlesque!

Friday Night was Girls Night In at my friend Stephanie's house.  It involved yumminess and prettiness and this:

Christina Aguilera
 in Burlesque 2010
The Plot was Predictable. But the music made up for it.

and the costumes were so fun,

It made me want to sing & dance: Burlesque!


Sunday, March 6, 2011

"Joy is what happens to us when
we allow ourselves to recognize how
good things really are."
-Marianne Williamson

photographed by Zee Longenecker























Friday, February 25, 2011

Dreamy Master Bedrooms

A dream is a wish your heart makes
When you're fast asleep
In dreams you lose your heartaches
 Whatever you wish for, you keep
Have faith in your dreams and someday...
 Your rainbow will come smiling through

No matter how your heart is grieving
If you keep on believing
The dream that you wish will come true


Thursday, February 24, 2011

Blooms

2 things I love:
Flowers & Surprises















This bouquet has gotten lovelier by the day. I adore the combination of flowers, the colors, the fragrance...

The thrill of receiving flowers that I didn't send to myself.

Eden was equally elated to accept the delivery & quickly claimed the attached "bloooon!"









Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Letting Go

2007
Last Thursday morning, my husband & I entered the same courthouse where we'd renewed our vows that very week last year. Later that evening we left as newly-unweds.

2008
We sat together on the steps outside and smiled & laughed & cried....
2009
He smoked cigarettes and relieved of his vows to me, shared the details of some of the lies he'd lived throughout our marriage. I noticed that as I was listening to his confessions it seemed to facilitate for him a sense of renewal, so with mixed emotions I listened to him come clean. I sat there stunned but also strangely fulfilled that I could finally sort of please him in some way.

In his rare honesty, I felt so much love for him that my heart couldn't hang on to the unforgivables any longer,

just like that I had more admiration for him than ever.

We walked and talked for hours, sat by the river and danced in the street, watched the Sun rise and then: he went back to his life and I headed back toward mine.
 
Once we were apart it hit: I felt like I'd been beaten to near death. By the man I love the most.

I was overwhelmed with sadness. Grief.

2010
Anyway, I've learned that there's no value in spending any time trying to understand the unknowns and the "whys?"

In cases such as this, it does not matter whose fault it is.

Furthermore, time does heal, but not if you spend it trying to make sense of the past. The answers will come on their own, in their own time.

I'm letting go. It's over. I'm going to play on the floor with my babies, sleep well, stop worrying and embrace this second chance.

After all, of everything he's ever given me, letting me go was the greatest gift of all.

Sunday, February 13, 2011

Michelle's Pix

I'm so lucky that I've been able to stay with my Parents at their home in Wyoming.  For the most part we've got the run of the place. Or, Eden has the run of the place, anyway.  My Mom is remarkably unfazed by the baby mess.  So, it's TOYS everywhere and crayons and paints and books, books, books!  Not a design aesthetic that I ever envisioned for the place I call home, but as long as Grandma doesn't mind I'm gonna go with it because Eden loves it.

Meanwhile, to satisfy my inner Decorista, I envision what our next home will look and feel like once we're settled again.  I imagine my babies in the beds on the pages of the Restoration Hardware catalog and save the images from around the internet that inspire me.




What a pretty Monogram, I love how easy that pillow arrangement
looks like it would be to make every morning while still being equally pleasing to look at.


That big, beautiful piece, surrounded by neutrals is show-stopping!
That corona! How gorgeous would two of those be above parallel cribs in a shared bed/playroom

I love the unexpected Florals and the combination of old and new.

I could live in this living room: the layered rugs, contrasting styles of pillow covers. . .


Beautiful Mama #1











Sand, Sunshine, twins and Gucci. Jennifer Lopez has never looked better.